I’ve been a bit quiet recently.
Once again, the reality of my health has hit me in the face, and I just couldn’t deal with one more thing, so I downsized for my own sanity. I focused only on my myriad of doctor appointments, work, my kids, and getting through the holidays. So, I’ve had some radio silence over here. I was so bogged down I couldn’t think. Literally.
2016 was a difficult year. It can basically be summed up by this exchange. I went to my doctor to get a routine checkup, and he walked in the room and said, “Hi Sarah, how are you?” and I just burst into tears. I mean, not just tears, but snot, and snorting, and an entire box of kleenexes and everything else that goes along with it. It was humiliating, but that’s how I’ve been feeling recently, and that’s why I’ve been so quiet.
My Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome has soundly kicked my ass, and I’ve been really, really struggling. Physically things have been terrible. I’ve had huge, serious, numerous dislocations each day, my chronic pain is through the roof, and my emotional state has been a direct reflection of my physical issues. Thankfully, I (finally) found a doctor who is managing my chronic illness and helping me figure out other people I can see who can help with the various comorbities that come along with this chronic illness. I got a handicapped parking pass, which is a huge help, and various medications, treatments, plans, etc to help me manage this. Honestly, things have become so bad I’ve felt like I was drowning in my chronic condition, and right now it just feels really good to have a plan of attack, a plan to manage things, and a team of doctors available to help.
In other news, on January 10 I’m going in for a minor surgery so my doctor can see if I have uterine cancer or not.
Never a dull moment, right?
So maybe with all that in sight you can understand why I’ve been so quiet recently. I just haven’t had the headspace for another thing.
But 2017 is here, and it’s time for a new start. We just got back from a week long vacation, which was absolutely necessary, and I’m feeling really refreshed and recharged. I have no big plans for 2017. I plan on just keeping on keeping on, and cutting myself some slack. I don’t want to stress myself out over this website. My health, my need for self-care must come first, as this year has taught me. But, this website is hugely important, and I will continue reviewing.
I’ve been plugging away at my Self-Published Fantasy Blog Off books, and I’m hoping in a week or two to review 3-4 books back to back, and then in another two weeks, do 3-4 more and on it goes until I finish off all the finalists. I’ve also finished some books that are going to be published within the next few months and are absolutely amazing. I have high hopes for the quality of books released this year.
For the past ten years I’ve had the same (one) resolution, and that was to last a calendar year without surgery. 2016 is the first year I’ve actually managed that resolution (yay!), mostly due to the fact that I canceled two scheduled surgeries this year because I couldn’t stomach it. 2017 is starting off with a surgery ten days into things, so I had to really dig a big deep and figure out new resolutions this year. My big one is to actually finish the book I’ve spent about four years writing. This year I will type “the end” and mean it. I plan to make this year a wonderful one, because I refuse to have another one like 2016, where everything hurts and my emotions reflect that. Yes, everything will hurt in 2017, that’s the nature of my illness, but my reaction to that pain, and my emotional state, is what I make it. Life is still beautiful, despite my meatcage, and 2017 will be devoted to constantly remembering that.
So no real big news over here, but just a bit of an update, a what-to-expect thing, and some navel gazing.
I hope your holidays were grand, and your 2017 is as epic as you make it out to be.
Reviews to come, starting tomorrow.
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